my anxious heart: What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless. eccl 2:22-23

words to soothe: A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? eccl 2:24-25

Bean town.  I haven't been back in about 3 years.  It'll be nice to revisit my college town and the surrounding burbs, especially with friends whose company i've grown to enjoy and value highly over the past year and a half. 

I've never made it back to one of my favorite restaurants near Cambridge.  Helmand serves up delicious and clean tasting Afghanistan food in a pottery barn setting.  The reason I loved it there was my pilaf and meat dish was purple, due to the raisins in it.  It just shows that kids/and college freshwomen love food especially if the color doesn't look like real food.  Also, I was there with my great aunt and uncle and one of my favorite cousins and her husband celebrating her two year wedding anniversary.  Another place I'd like to revisit is Ambrosia, for its wonderful desserts and romantic, dim, sophisticated atmosphere.  Don't know if i'll make it to these places this time but if you ever get a chance...

We're also taking a drive to New Hampshire to see the beautiful foliage.  I loved the smell of fallen leaves when I raked them into large piles all over my childhood front lawn in wyckoff nj.  Before I'd push the leaves into large garbage bags, I'd jump in them several times for fun.  I used to turn my bicycle upside down, sprinkle leaves into the wheels, and turn the pedal with my hands, imagining i was making popcorn.  haha  We also used to take retreats to New Hampshire in college.  We'd give each other little notes with encouragements and verses.  I still have some in my bible. 

I was tagged by bungles.  Now i'm it!   It took me awhile but here it is.    

20 Random Facts About Myself

1. I am lactose intolerant and love ice cream and milk.
2. I have travelled to Greece, Cairo, Venice, Rome, Paris, Middle Rhine Valley in Germany, London, Guam, Bahamas, Puerto Rico, St. Thomas, Tokyo, Sapporo, Seoul.  My favorite is Greece. 
3. My two younger brothers take care of and spoil me as if I'm the younger one.
4. I get colds easily and suffer in the rain or a/c.
5. I love to be surprised in little ways, but not surprise birthdays.
6. After having broken sbd wind and puked for four hours in front of my boyfriend, we are still together! 
7. White is my favorite color.
8. I'm a pencil who watches UPN and follows Pharell and Ciara.
9. The only time I crave junk food is when I'm stressed.
10. I was in the best shape when during five months in 2002, I woke up with the sun at 6 am and jogged in central park 3-4 times a week.
11. My primary love language is warmth and love.
12. I once couldn't stop smiling because my dinner was soooo good.
13. I'm quick at spotting celebs at restaurants, in subways, in stores, and on streets.
14. I miss mom and dad tremendously but would never live in k country.
15. I once got pieces of my front teeth knocked out when the neighborhood bully made me sit with my arms encircled like a basketball hoop while he aimed rocks from the top of a hill.  sad but true
16. Music is always blaring when I clean my room or around the apt.
17. In the winter, I sleep in a sleeping bag, under a fleece and a down blanket, on my bed with a hat, socks, and long sleeve on, next to a space heater.
18. I picked up the art of trash talking while playing hours of pool at Corner Billiards.
19. Cooking gives me a sense of accomplishment ...sometimes.
20. I'm so thankful for my good gal pals who can follow my ramblings, tangents, non-linear thinking and all.

Now... I am going to tag the following 5 people: pilose-man, my darling roomie perkiee1004, spygirl, jibae, and yules.

I won the lottery!

Thanks to nobu's and bigtoe's inspiration I tried my luck playing lottery.  In the past two weeks, I tried six times and failed.  This would be my last attempt I thought.  It was a rainy and dreary Monday evening, the weather was on my side. Only twenty or so people waited outside the box office so everyone got winning tickets.  Yay!  I scored $20 orchestra seats to Rent. 

My first time watching it was back in my sophmore year of college at Tufts.  I remember really liking it.  I didn't remember any love stories in the plot.  This time, I learned that it was all about different levels of love (friendship, romantic, society, and lack thereof).  But the story was scripted in a way that didn't make me balk as I did when I watched Phantom or Les Mis.  Just personal taste. 

I used to think that I didn't like musicals with love stories.  I now think I prefer modern musicals because I don't have a preconceived notion of what the actual musical experience would be.  I acknowledge that my highschool years listening to the soundtracks of Phantom and Les Mis made me envision a production that could never be matched on stage.

So here I am, my second time watching Rent.  All the cast, including Frenchie from American Idol, had a lot of spirit, personality and evoked emotion with their voices and stage presence.  They were so convincing, that it was the first time I teared rivers, almost bawled, at a musical.  Very embarrassing.  There was no way to plug up the dam.  hmm... this recalls memories of watching a 10 pm Monday nite viewing of The Notebook. 

Though in one scene I had to close my eyes, I still really like this show.  My next lottery conquest?  Wicked of course.

btw, Have you ever tried Virgil's Trainwreck Fries?  Ranch, cheese, jalepeno makes all the difference.  Pig Out is a great way to try ribs, pulled pork, beef brisket, and link.  yum.

...besides which you'll see, I have confidence in me.

One of the easiest question to ask ourselves is, "What are 3 things that I'm looking for in a S.O.?"  Easy to answer, isn't it?  We've all been carrying around and fine tuning this list in our heads ever since playing M.A.S.H.(1) on the playgrounds of elementary school.  A simple variation of this question, however, reveals some interesting things about ourselves.

"What are 3 things that make me a good catch?"  Name 3 things that come to mind.  Not so easy to answer as the first question?  Well, that's because we're not used to asking ourselves what makes us a good candidate for a date, perhaps for something more.  I'm sure our friends can think of more than 3 things that make us a great date.  But we should also be able to answer the question ourselves so that we establish confidence in ourselves and self awareness.

There is nothing more attractive than a confident man or woman.  And please note that confidence is not the presence of arrogance or the absence of humility.  When we can answer this question, we will be better prepared to embrace the situation once it arises.

Take this interesting scenario.  One girl attracts two really great guys.  So how is one of these guys going to make himself standout, be more attractive over the other?  What would he do if given this one opportunity?  Since he already has 3 reasons why he is a good catch, he can start thinking - How can i make someone see this side of me? 

The benefit of this is he will take on an active role.  This goes for girls too.  He will know that he gave it his best shot. 

This doesn't mean he will get the girl so easily or even at all.  Sometimes the timing isn't right or the 3 things she is looking for are not the things he may be able to offer.  But he won't be passively sitting at home thinking, that girl is soooo attractive for soooo many reasons.  Woe is me.  I suck.  If it doesn't work out, he can keep his integrity, confidence, and kindness intact.  He has confidence that he was made to be attractive and to be loved.

(1) M.A.S.H. - mansion, apt, shack, house
* Thoughts credited to b. 

How do I know if a guy/gal likes me? 

This question often comes up in conversations.  Guys admit that they like the chase and like to be the one doing the chasing.  They say that it makes the girl seem more attractive.  But guys also want you to give them hints that you are interested.  Girls like to establish a connection.  I think girls like a moderate level of chase as well.  The intial moments before dating, the uncertainty, provides one of the most exciting times.  

So Girls, hints are the way to go.  Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact.  Touching him lightly by accident and laughing at his corny jokes is another plus (of course the laughter has to be genuine).  Addressing him by his name will let him know that you're paying attention to him.

So Guys, during your conversation, you can ask her questions or tell her things that help you get to know each other on a deeper level.  Initiate activities for either just the two of you or in a group and just keep the interaction flowing.  The more familiar a face is, the more friendly it seems. 

Both Girls and Guys: please note that there are people who are just plain friendly and act like this.  They do not necessarily mean them as hints.  They may just want to get to know you better as purely a friend.  Confusing huh?  Well, take your time.  Don't rush into a relationship or thoughts about marriage. 

To all the love lorn, these are just some things to consider, not words to live by.  This is Doctor Atyourbest signing off from New York with a goodnite and good luck.

If you'd like to try a brunch spot, may i recommend Clinton St Baking Co.  They serve piping hot baby blueberry pancakes dipped in maple butter while you wait.  It's easy to get to.  F/V to 2nd Ave stop and walk east on Houston to Ave B/Clinton St.  If you go around 10:30am, the wait is around 40 min.  You won't even notice the wait since you'll enjoy catching up with each other on a nice day.  Brioche French toast with maple butter, Pancake with a whole fresh bananna sliced on top, Bacon side, Hash Brown side.

Love Letter

In the past, I've called my dad to remind him about mom's bday and give him suggestions about gifts or restaurants to take her to.  He'd always say yeah yeah and the day would pass unremarkably.  But ever since the kids graduated college they've been very lovey dovey. 

This year for my mom's 56th bday, my dad showered her with gifts.  A fridge for her makeup (it's a trend in asia i guess), syard golf clubs (it's very light and good for women), a digital camera so she can take pics of things she can paint, lotion set, and a mailed and hand written love letter.  Translated into english, this last piece included the words dear, and your loving husband.  I asked my mom if she teared reading this.  She only asked my dad which card he copied the words from.  haha  

Just halfway through being read the contents of the letter, I busted out with my nervous laughter because this side of their relationship is totally gross for me, as their child.  But at the same time it was a joyful laughter too.  I'm so glad my parents married their true love.  It was this that enabled them to keep going in the hardship and surprises of life.  And even now at their old age they have kept their hearts for each other so pure and genuine.  Well, i thought i'd share that story about my dad     

I'm back from West Palm Beach, Florida!  I played my first 18 holes of golf at a posh country club.  The course was the easiest out of three at the club but i still found it difficult.  I surprised myself and everyone I played with when I played my 18th hole particularly well and helped my teammate win a free lunch. Only 10 strokes from the red on a par 4!  haha   Still, i'm glad with the way I ended my game.  My main joys that morning though were driving the golf cart and the beauty of the course.  The course was sprinkled with palm trees, ponds, different types of cranes (white, brown, small, large) and houses right on the course!  These are built with shatter proof glasses and a metal screen encased patio so that the stray golf balls do not break the beautiful homes.  The homes are owned by retired execs, including a handful of korean retired execs, and their gracefully aged wives who still have homes in NY and CT. 

I learned many things about golfing.  A lot of it has to do with etiquette/rules. 

A proper outfit for ladies and gentlemen include: one golf glove, a shirt with a collar tucked into the pants, light colored clothes, cap, socks, sneakers, and no jeans.  I didn't know this so I wore a white collarless and sleeveless top and a jean skirt.  Luckily noone threw me off the course.  phew~  Everyone must also have their own set of clubs.  No sharing.  Golf is usually played in a group of four.  That means if you come by yourself, you'll be put into a group. Carts should be driven at 90 degree angles on the course to protect grass growth and should not be driven at all on the green.  With regards to safety, never park the cart or stand in front of the golfer. 

In golfing, there are levels, as in skiing.  Skiiers are familiar with green, blue, red, black, and black diamond slopes (with black diamond as the most difficult).  Golfers have red, white, black and gold starting points (with gold being the furthest back from the hole).

There is much much more to be learned before I ever go back to a golf course I realized.  I should take a beginner's level class first to learn the basics of form and posture that can allow me to feel a little confident about being on the course and not looking completely foolish.